The Results of Fear Part 4
“The person who gets the farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore…” — Dale Carnegie
The fear of ill health is the next fear on the list. The fear of ill health will give you exactly what you fear: Ill Health. For most of us there is a simpler term with which we are all familiar: the hypochondriac. When your heart is focused on ill health, ill health is what you are going to have for it is the job of the subconscious mind (your heart) to bring into physical reality that which is predominant in your thoughts.
Providing an example of this let’s take a look most people with health insurance and those without. Those with insurance seldom if ever fear getting ill while a large portion of those without are constantly in fear of ill health. Those without the fear, yet paying insurance for fifty years says for the most part it was a waste of money while the one without insurance winds up getting sick all the time and has a mountain of doctor bills to prove it. Why is this? It is because that which was predominant on their minds became reality. The heart is set up to bring that which one believes into physical reality. One believed he would be in good health and the other feared they would not. They both received what they expected.
Then there is the fear of the loss of love. This fear is and has been the cause, in large part, for a majority of all the emotional and physical damage we as human beings have suffered since the beginning of time. The fear of the loss of love winds up bringing you the very thing you were afraid of losing: Loss of Love.
Through the years when counseling with couples I have seen over and over how fear has destroyed their relationships. It often happens when there are things one didn’t like about the other or issues they were afraid to talk about or discuss. When I asked them why they were so fearful and why they didn’t talk about it their answer, more often than not would be, “If I tell her/him how I really feel, I am afraid they will leave me.” My response to them in most cases was, “Well you may find it is a little late for that as I believe they have already left you.” I would then tell them their fear was giving then exactly that for which they were afraid.
It is often the fear of the loss of love that causes the one fearing the loss to hurt others verbally and physically. The thinking is if I can’t be happy then you are not going to be either. If I have to suffer than you are going to suffer as well. This of course is the kind of response we expect of a very selfish person as it is a very selfish person who would feel better at the suffering of others. It is a selfish person who does not see anyone else’s needs, but his own. It is the selfish person that allows their uncontrolled, unschooled, and undisciplined emotions to not only rule their own lives, but ruin the lives of those around them.
God said, I will never leave you or forsake you and, He is in all people. Since He is in all people, there are going to be people that will love and accept you just the way you are. There will be plenty of people that will help shore you up and give you a helping hand when you need one. Over reacting at the loss of something you can’t control is not the answer. You are not in control of others nor should you be. You are only in control of yourself. The first thing to do is to start accepting, liking and loving, yourself. If you don’t how can you expect others to? Once you feel good about yourself, it is easier to accept if someone doesn’t happen to like you and you will not feel the need to inflict verbal and physical pain on others.
The number five fear is that of old age. If you want to see how bad this fear can get, take a look at models, especially female models. They feel ancient in their mid-twenties and over the hill in their early thirties. Isn’t that crazy? It might be, but it is none the less the truth. The next category of those who would be at the top of the list of fearing old age is female actresses. Although it isn’t as bad as modeling, it is quite a bit harder for females than for males. As men age they get sophisticated while women get old. This is quite sad.
As you get older it will not matter whether you are male or female, what type of job you have or your ethnicity, how much money you have or not, you will more than likely find yourself becoming quite concerned about aging. This will happen as you begin to notice not only the dry and wrinkled skin, but the loss of elasticity as well. You will notice the failing eyesight, or the teeth having to be replaced. The sores will not heal as quick and there will be stiffness in the joints, which you never had before. All signs of aging. All are signs you just might not be as attractive to those around you as you used to be.
This fear will cause aging to come on you faster than it normally would if you were simply allowing life to run its course without all the anxiety and worry. The fact is, aging is going to happen. A good attitude about aging will help you to feel, look, and act younger than those who do fear getting old. Let it go and go with the flow. You will find all will love you as you are because you are OK with who you are.
The last fear is the Fear of Death. Napoleon Hill believed the fear of poverty and the fear of death were equal in their insidious ability to paralyze people and keep them from becoming all they could be. One was not worse or better than the other. He also believed these two to be the things people most feared.
It is not hard to comprehend why people fear death for more often than not we fear that which we do not know or understand. The reality is none of us truly know what is on the other side of this life and because we are creatures that fear what we do not know, it is easy to see why people fear death. Death as we are able to comprehend it seems so final and that is because the death of this physical body is all we can comprehend. If the body is dead than we are dead and no one wants to cease to exist. Everyone wants to live forever. Because we are so focused on the physical self, we are unable to see beyond the physical body and thus unable to comprehend how there could be anything of worth or value without this body. This then, the fear of the unknown is at the root of the fear of death.
There is also the fear we will not be able to do what it was we wanted to do or should have done such as the fear of not saying, doing, becoming, or trying, etc. It is in fact the uncertainty of not knowing that we fear because we cannot control what we don’t know. So, what we fear is what we wind up getting. We live lives without fulfillment rather than having fulfilled our time here with fulfillment then graduating on to an existence even that much more fulfilling.
If you learn to live life with purpose and on purpose rather than letting it pass you by you will find fewer regrets and the end of life’s trail. Solomon said we should not be afraid of sudden fear; neither of the desolation of the wicked when it comes, for the Lord shall be your confidence and shall keep your foot. Napoleon Hill said rather than fear anything it is best to set yourself to recognize you carry the matches with which the fires of adversity are being touched off, but you also have at your command, the water, in great abundance, with which those fires can be extinguished. Find your definiteness of purpose and create a plan to make it happen by engaging nature’s law of habit and time, to bring it to pass
By having a definite purpose and being focused on a definite plan, you will find less time to fear. As a matter of fact, you will not have time to fear for you will be too busy accomplishing the goals you and living your dreams.
Best of LUCK as you
Labor Under Correct Knowledge…