Daily Insight | YOUR Expectations Part 2
“High expectations are the key to everything…” — Sam Walton.
Previously we spoke of the first of two reasons why our expectations begin to decline as we age. Before we move on to the second of those reasons, allow me to reiterate the first. Remember I said there is usually a difference between what we expect and what we get. You can either picture this in your mind or take a piece of paper and place the words Expected Level of Return (ELOR) on top, then place the words Actual Level of Return (ALOR, what you actually wound up getting) on the bottom; you will see there is a space in the middle of the page between the two. It is from this gap that all of the problems come.
When there is a gap between what you expect and what you actually get then there is going to be disappointment and frustration, which will usually be associated with a resulting anger. The problem is we seldom associate any of this to ourselves. More often than not we assign the blame for these problems to everyone else. It becomes everyone else’s fault but our own. If you continue to blame others for what and where you are then there is no way to fix it because you can’t fix others, YOU CAN ONLY FIX YOURSELF. When you begin to recognize that you might possibly be part of the problem; that only YOU have the power to change YOU, then you can anticipate that what you expect as well as how you perform will rise to higher level.
The second reason for the lowering of our expectations is the influence of those around us such as our parents, relatives, teachers, coaches, friends, coworkers, etc. Remember influence is powerful, but subtle. You may not let someone push you off course but you may let someone nudge you off course and not even know it says Jim Rohn. Those around you are often the largest influence on your life. That being said, they can also be the reason that your expectations are low or high.
On the other hand you can set your expectations high and keep them there when you allow men and women with integrity; high values and high expectations to influence you in every area of your life. For the most part however, we all have to interact with others that do not share in our ideals or beliefs nor, are they remotely concerned about our welfare or the outcome of our life yet, they desire to and will offer their ill-gotten advice. So, it becomes a daily necessity to be on guard as to what and who influences us. As Jim Rohn says, we must ask our self the following questions: Who am I around? What are they doing to me? What have they got me reading? What have they got me saying? Where do they have me going? What do they have me thinking? Most importantly, what do they have me becoming? Then ask yourself the big question: Is that OK?
When we take a serious look at the influences in our life we often find they are not the best influences and in many cases they are not only bad but very bad. If a father tells you that you are worthless and will amount to nothing during your entire childhood, there is a good chance your expectations will be low. This is the power of influence. If a coach tells you that you should change your direction and choose another sport and you believe it, then you are doomed to follow this coach’s expectation of you. Michael Jordan said if you accept the expectations of others, especially the negative ones, then you will never change the outcome. His high school coach told him basketball was not for him and to move on. It was a good thing Michael didn’t accept this man’s expectations for if he had he would never have become Air-Jordan, the greatest basketball player to date.
Just because someone is part of the family, a close friend or valued coworker, it does not mean these people are going to be a good influence, for often they are only well-intentioned dragons. These people seem to be sincere and well-meaning yet, they leave ulcers, strained relationships and hard feelings in their wake. They do not intend to be difficult or even consciously plot anyone’s destruction, but for some reason their influence undermines our future, lowers our expectations and thus our overall performance (Marshall Shelley).
How many times have you shared something you wanted to do or be with a family member, friend or coworker, only to have them chuckle and or sneer while they insensitively tell you not to bother? How did this affect you? Did it stop you from moving forward or did you continue on in spite of what was said? More often than not, the majority are stopped in their tracks from the comment by the Wet-Blanket Well-Intentioned Dragon. They are quick to throw a wet blanket on your enthusiasm and dampen your spirit in order to get you to be where they are: nowhere. They are quick to tell you there is no sense in trying for they know best and have seen this before.
Is this really true that they know best? I don’t think so, for they aren’t you and they don’t live your life. You must decide for yourself to either stay where they are or move forward. If you decide to stay you will be like most who when defeated once might pick up and try again. If defeated twice however, the vast majority will quit. When faced with being defeated three times, ninety eight out of one hundred will quit. This is what was discovered by Napoleon Hill after conducting over twenty five thousand interviews.
If you decide to move forward you will be among the very few that will continue in the face of defeat. Once you have decided to keep searching you will find those that do support your goals, objectives, dreams, visions and expectations. Remember, Henry Ford and Mary Kay Ash believed, “If you think you can you can; and if you think you can’t, you’re right.” These two overcome in the face of seeming insurmountable odds.
The same thing applies to employees for they tend to live up to their managers expectations of them. If a manager’s expectations are high, productivity is likely to be excellent. On the other hand, your manager may happen to be a well-intentioned dragon where on the surface they may appear to be on your side yet, may subconsciously be undermining your growth and potential by getting you to lower your expectations. This takes the pressure off of them as they may fear the potential of your expectations, which are often success and the taking of their position.
Denis Waitley says our limitations and success will be based, most often, on our own expectations for what the mind dwells upon, the body will act on. Brian Tracy says winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event. From what these two have said it is clear WE HOLD the key to what our expectations will be and our expectations hold the key to what our future will be for as previously stated, there is a correlation between what you have and what you expect. If you want what you expect to come to pass then what you expect must be held fast and with confidence.
“There is no greater challenge than to have someone relying on you; no greater satisfaction than to vindicate his/her expectation…” — Kingman Brewster
Best of LUCK as you
Labor Under Correct Knowledge…